Been a month...

Since my last post... Damn, ages :)

Lots of stuff happened since...

Was sick in SUS for 1.5 weeks, which was kind of annoying... had high temperature, 38.9 at one point, must have been the flu... During my sick period Arijana visited me 3 times... lol talk about unpredicatble. First day she must have spent like 2 hours with me in total, laying on my bed essentially half the time. As usual, had no idea about how to interpret it. Laughed my ass off when she jumped off the bed when Nico visited me :P haha apparently she knew it wud look weird...

Next day she came over again, this time sick too. must have gotten it from me :P I came over to her room, which was empty. Spent a couple of hours talking... I finally was honest with her, which was kinda weird but relieving... Layed next to her for a long time... Then it was bedtime and I stayed. lol kept getting up bcos of being paranoid about sum1 coming. Stayed until 4am, which was weeiird... She started touching me, which was funny, cos Im kinda ticklish... :P

Then it got to the stage where I was laying on top of her, and she had her hands under my shirt on my back... Meh, thats where I fucked up... Got the idea into my head she just wanted to sleep with me, and then again leave me alone... which was, ironically, 100% true... but she noticed how I freaked out, and asked me to tell her the truth... Which I guess was a turn off for her :P the irony was that like 15-20 minutes later I just didnt care... So I made a move. two times.. both times got her breathing going, but well, quite frankly didnt know how far to go, or how to do it... damn blame the lack of sex ed in eastern european schools :D

To be honest wouldnt have left until the morning if I knew this was the last time I would be with her. As it was, cuddled until 4am, upon which my headache was so bad I left and went to bed. Next morning I went into her room, where Greg was sitting with her... weeeird vibe going on there... then she left sus, and I didnt hear from her until the weekend, she wrote me on facebook. lol heard she had broke up with greg. YAY for me, right? nope... they got together like on the first day after. Hit me SO hard, funny, what should I have expected? Just went numb inside. In the evening I went out and bought a bottle of gin, watched "the holiday" and got wasted. had like 6 hours of sleep, woke up feeling like utter toss.... was hungover all day, drank the rest of the bottle the next evening... alcohol helps :P

According to my bro, who talked with greg, she told him a weird mixture of truth and lies about the whole affair... Cant believe he had it in him to take her back... tbh I dont know if I would... Id tell him the truth, but he wouldnt believe me, and I dont care enough... Regret that we wont be friends anymore, missed the fun, but to be honest I realise that we havent really been friends since january, when Arijana arrived... he said when it looked like I would be with her that we would never be able to be friends again, and though it ended up the other way around, it was true... Even when we were supposedly "friends", I still felt like punching him in the face all the time... Guess its just a primal emotion which is separate from my perception of him. Well anyways, he hates my guts now, so guess nothing will change that... hate ignoring both of them when they are in my face at school, not because of the emotional pain, kinda getting used to that, but more because its just annoying. Think Ill just look into his/her eyes next time and smile. haha, should be fun :D

wrote her an april fools message, in which I asked her to make up her mind if she was just going to go on ignoring me or if she actually wanted to see me. Lol not even talking abt her breaking up at that point.

Then I left for easter. Was great getting away from the school and the memories.

Had easter holidays, when I flew to my Moms place in cyprus. Spent like 6 hours in prague airport stoning, arrived to cyprus at 4am. Had a great time there, weather was crap at the beginning, but got better later. First 2 days I just chilled, my suitcase got stuck at the airport so I went shopping with my mom for clothes. Lol :D

Then started working on maths. Did like 5-6 hours a day, had three lessons with a tutor. Got through essentially all the problematic issues I had in maths; Met my moms various suitors. haha funny :) one dude is this journalist in his 50s who my Mom essentially abuses for her own interests (e.g. driving me and my bro around, etc.). Im kind of bitter after the events of the last couple of months, which showed during the holidays quite a lot I guess... Said a lot of half comic nasty things to my mom, hate her attitude towards people in that respect... Exchanged the usual batch of superficial messages with Arijana, she didnt answer my question. So I just blocked and deleted them all... Which was the thing to do...

Started going to the beach about a week into the holidays, which was nice. The water was fresh, loved the salt... Being in the sun was nice, got a tan by the end of the holidays :)

another suitor of my moms is this weirdo Costa, whom I dislike. Doesnt seem particularly intellectual, very wannabe macho, which just seems ridiculous. But hey, he got an Armani watch for my bro, and apparently he has a HOT 17 year old daughter. Didnt get to see her during the holiday, guess we will find out during the summer holidays. '

Got glasses, which is taking me a bit to get used to, but which is kinda growing on me :)

now on my first week of school, revising as much as I can every day, which is hard, what with all the routine, and my weird mood swings. my psych has stabilised, but its hard to stay optimistic when I have one person here I can even talk to properly. Having a party tomorrow, probs gonna buy some booze if I can. Woohoo gonna be great to see the 1gs singing their concert... NOT! but I guess its a tradition we all have to bear with...

who knows, maybe something interesting will happen... the world is unpredictable :P

and then there is theater on wednsday, and a nice last 3g evening dinner, with wine...

Then there is thursday evening with rektor, and the whole night out! :P :D:D and in the morning we have pø kamp, and im defending the island at last. Great!

so yeah things are bittersweet... cant wait for the exams to end, so I can chill with nicolas for like two weeks... then to cyprus for like a month... then going to our interrail trip in july, at last :) drinking, travelling! woohoo self motivation....

And then glasgow... nico saying that he might come next year, wud b awesome for us to rent an apartment together. Looking forward to being able to turn over the page, and just forget about this segment of my life. A lot of lessons learnt, most of it from unhappy, bitter experiences, but experience nonetheless. Hopefully with the new knowledge I will do better at uni. I hope :)